“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards”
Soren Kierkegaard was definitely onto something when he shared this idea. While you and I reflect on what’s happened and what has been, we bring that understanding and what we’ve learned into our next steps. In a way, we reflect backward to project forward.
At this time of year, one cannot help but reflect. With all the stuff that’s made up our day-to-day work life and home life outcomes, we naturally end up reviewing all that’s happened throughout the year. We contemplate the impact and influence it has had in us, through us and around us.
Then comes a change of perspective.
Imagine looking behind. And then, to re-orient our gaze, we turn our head towards what lies ahead. In the turn, it’s there, right dab in the middle, where we find a precious space. It’s what Viktor Frankl identified long ago,
“Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.”
This represents a pause between what has been and what may be. We leverage our outcomes to temper our future choices.
This means stepping out of an old year into a new and uncertain one with faith and hope. Which can be hard for many of us to do. It’s challenging because we don’t know what lies ahead, and it’s difficult to fully realize because what got us to this point may not get us to the next one. I am reminded of a pivotal quote by leadership guru Marshall Goldsmith.
“What got you here won’t get you there”
It’s acknowledging the behaviors, strategies, or habits that led to the outcomes in our past may not be sufficient to the thinking and doing for our future. Essentially, we will need to adapt and evolve as we step into the possibilities of our new year.
This may very well involve the process of ‘start, stop or continue’. For me, I’ve always done my very best to ‘abandon all hope for a better yesterday’, and acknowledge, accept, and then let go. I stay fully aware in that pause after reflecting to recognize that all the successes, failures, wins and losses…they’re historical. They’re in the past. The only thing with distinct clarity in this moment is the two inches right in front of me. Clarity is found in the middle of reflecting and projecting. I am here. Now what?
What, Why, How, To What Extent
Here’s the thing, we cannot just move forward because it sounds good. We need to avoid some blind statement like Do Better or Follow my Passion. It should be “Follow my passion…” and then add to it the specific aspect or aspects as to what that means, how it will be seen and give it some tangible measure. All too often, when we make decisions in the new year, we say something without rigorously defining it. We have to be honest with ourselves and avoid empty promises and platitudes.
We have to know WHAT we’re striving for, WHY that, HOW to make it happen, and TO WHAT EXTENT we will execute it and live it…each and every day. One must own the true understanding, by both believing and committing that this will impact ourselves and those around us. I know plenty of people who say it, and don’t live it or follow through with it. That has been me in past seasons.
Now layer this with what Tony Robbins says…set goals, not resolutions. And then create a plan and act. In fact, it’s not the goal we’re going after as much as it is becoming the person who can accomplish the goal. This creates a posture of grace to live it out, with the flexibility in being real and doing this the best way we can. Perfectly imperfect. Our mission and vision within the goal doesn’t change. The way and means to achieve it, can and will change. And that is OK.
Bottom line, now is the perfect time to reflect backwards to project forwards. We end well so that we may begin well; moving forward, unburdened by what has been.
I challenge you with the following questions as you reflect backwards to project forwards.
- Can you describe what happened… what did I achieved?
- What did I notice…what did I learn?
- Where did you encounter challenges… what held me back?
- Which habit defines me…what habit requiring change will help me the most?
- How will I respond…what is my focus as I move forward?
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