“A leader, first and foremost, is human. Only when we have the strength to show our vulnerability can we truly lead.” Simon Sinek
I remember my diagnosis. I remember the choice. In retrospect, it was a crossroads moment. It was on a Tuesday afternoon. May 21, 2013. “You have cancer.” A response was required.
I couldn’t just wish it away. My mindset had to change from “I hope I don’t have this” to “OK, I have this.” My prayers had to change from “Lord, I don’t want this.” to “Lord, give me the strength to move through this.” I had to change the posture of my heart from fear and doubt to surrender.
I was punched in the neck, figuratively and literally (neck cancer), and I had to surrender. Not the type of surrender that means giving up, and giving away one’s rights and freedom to another. No. The type of surrender to something bigger than ourselves, which actually frees us up to live broader, wider, deeper, and – though not obvious in the moment – with purpose.
I was being disrupted. My leadership was being interrupted. This moment changed me forever. And I am grateful.
Our leadership will have all kinds of disruption. Each moment in its own way represents interruption. Leadership is uncertain. It’s challenging. It’s hard. Nothing about leadership is easy. The choice, though, is simple.
Lash out, or live. Lay down defeated, or stand up. To take a lesson from our previous article, give up, or persevere and keep moving forward.
But that’s not to say a leader needs a stone cold heart. On the contrary, one thing I have learnt from my experience with cancer is that we can reach a whole new level of understanding through vulnerability.
Recognizing the Value of Transparency in Vulnerability
Vulnerability comes from the Latin word for “wound,” and is defined as openness to attack or hurt, either physically or in other ways. It also represents a willingness to accept the circumstances. And it is an acceptance of the situation as being exactly what it is supposed to be. This helps maintain a state of focus, and most of all, a belief that “I am worthy”.
Leaders may see being vulnerable as weakness, or as an exposure to weakness. I contend it demonstrates our humanity and capacity for others to see us honestly and truthfully. When those around us can really see us in these moments, it can bolster respect, connection, and trust.
This extends also to organizational transparency. Creating a transparent culture within your organization promotes those same qualities across all levels of your team. In doing so, leaders invite those around them to reach a mutual understanding, creating a unified force against the problems you face.
We need to explore our belief in who we are, who we are becoming, and the feelings we associate with vulnerability.
Building Organizational Transparency through Vulnerability
Get a sheet of paper and a pen. Draft your answers to some or all of following questions:
- How do you define being vulnerable, transparent, as well as willing, honest and open?
- How do you process disruption, tension and stress?
- Consider a past success or failure. How would you evaluate your humility in that situation?
- Do you actively foster a transparent culture of vulnerability in your business?
- How are you demonstrating courage within yourself and with your team?
- When you are uncertain or uncomfortable, how are you at communicating your reality?
- What is your posture in problem solving and thinking creatively?
- What is your leadership story? And what parts are you willing to fully share?
I would love to sit down with each of you and unpack your answers. To hear how your head, heart, and soul factor into your reflection.
Vulnerability, Acceptance, and Strong Leadership
Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston. She is perhaps most widely known for her TED talk, “The Power of Vulnerability.” Without reservation, I can say it was a life changer for me. To an extent, her 2010 speech shared a perspective about vulnerability in my 2013 diagnosis and in a personal crossroads moment that followed a year later it transformed me. Personally. Professionally. Completely.
Brené Brown teaches all of us the power of acceptance. That our leadership has to include an authentic point of view. All of us have a story. Full of joy and failure. Complete with scars that show what has happened to us, and has not defeated us or defined us in our leadership journey.
Embrace your vulnerability. Don’t be ashamed of your story. Leadership is not just what you do, it’s who you are and who you are becoming. It will always have you processing a sense of self-value, self-discovery, and acceptance. That surrender doesn’t make us weak. It makes us stronger, and gives us the grace needed to influence others.
How to Build a Transparent Culture of Vulnerability
- Define organizational vulnerability, transparency, and acceptance
- When you are struggling, overwhelmed, or wrong, consider how you say so
- Get comfortable with being uncomfortable, then discuss “what, why, and how” with your team
- Roleplay and collaboratively brainstorm a variety of situations that challenge vulnerability
- Share the Brené Brown quote, “The courage to be vulnerable is not about winning or losing, it’s about the courage to show up when you can’t predict or control the outcome.” Share it with your team or organization and then discuss what this means.
